I dont want to live an ordinary life. I feel right now that if I choose love I’ll lose some love. How can I have the perfect balance of being with my forever and still growing as a person? I need some independence and space to make mistakes and not feel that I’m hurting people in the process. It’s inevitable that I’ll cause pain if I follow my heart. I guess the question I have is should I live the life my friends and family want me to live? Or should I live the life that I want to live? No matter the consequences?
Everyone tells me that life is so hard. If life is hard then why is it worth it? I can answer my own question by knowing that I matter and I will make my mark on this world. I don’t want to go through life and follow my brain. I don’t want to always make the smartest choice. I rather follow my heart and follow my joy and fall so hard after that I have a story to tell. I’m so young, I dont want to start living like I have no chances left, because as I see it, I have all the chances in the world. No matter how dark you can always ALWAYS make a comeback…..if you work for it. As my beautiful friend Audrey has said to me, I want to live my life and love with reckless abandon.
I think I need to follow my heart and chase my new goals. I trust that I’ll prove others wrong in the process.
Call me selfish but I chose me.
I love you, and I’m sorry if this isn’t the path you chose for me. I do hope that one day you will understand.
-Ananda CS