I’m currently 3,247 miles away and I have never felt so close to him. I’m sitting on this colorful comfortable bed in Ecuador listening to the classy jazz that my Aubelito has on repeat. I just got done having “dinner” with my abuelos and my bff Cecilia who I have gotten to share this incredible experience with. I say dinner like that because here our dinners are small. We usually call it “cafecito.” Coffee hour, makes sense right? Coffee at 7pm. I always opt for the tea option because 1: I love tea and 2: I don't like straight black coffee. We ate humitas today which are a sweet corn bread with cheese in the middle. They look like tamales and are definitely my favorite. I was sitting across from my abuelo and I saw my father's face clear as day. I never realized that they looked so alike. I asked them how they felt about my dad dating an american (my mother.) After many laughs and stories it got serious and I saw the pain in my abuelitos eyes as he talked about my father. He told me that my dad was so brave and so in love. I’m not surprised though, my dad has always moved through the world with so much light and love surrounding him. Mi abuelito me dejo algo muy importante. La vida no es fácil, cuesta vivir. It does, it costs to live. For all of us, not just the immigrants, or the poor, or the suffering. Everyone has a story that carries its significance in it’s own unique way. I never knew that my dad would write them letters from the US. My abuelita had them all saved. I got so emotional reading them aloud because my dad would write to his parents through my perspective when I was first born. Four day old me would be writing to them, and in those letters his love for his family and my mother shined through most of all. I think I know now where I got my kick for writing and storytelling. I never knew my dad could write like that. The life of my parents is still so mysterious to me and I’m eager to learn more. I’ll be away from home for about a month. I know my family wishes I would stay more, or they have higher hopes for me. This is what I can healthily give forward right now. A month of learning, and writing, and being open to the feelings and the vibes of life. I’m in my favorite place in the world and whenever I let my anxiety take over I know my cure. It's not my medicine that will just put me straight to sleep, it's my family that will love me and teach me all the goodness of life. My dad will always be a part of me, I feel so connected to him. I’m proud of where I come from and of my roots.
Eres lo maximo papito, de verdad.
P.s I love you too mommy!!! So SO much. Can’t wait to uncover more of your story.
-Anandita